


Drabbles of the Abyss

by CaffeinatedSunshine, Tejoxys



Category: Tales of the Abyss
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, Multi, Off-screen Relationship(s), meddling with canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-06 15:52:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1108692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffeinatedSunshine/pseuds/CaffeinatedSunshine, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tejoxys/pseuds/Tejoxys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles inspired by Tales of the Abyss. More tags to be added as work is expanded.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Noble Maiden Fair

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this chapter comes from the song of the same name on Disney's "Brave" soundtrack. I don't own that, or the characters. Moving ever onwards to the drabble.

“Talia”. Luke- now Asch- was the first to call that, back when they were little and lisping. It migrated to Guy, and then to Luke when he arrived at the Fon Fabre mansion. The name makes Natalia grin and blush like a fool, reminding her that she's more than a princess. Occasionally, when people are squabbling, or the world is ending, or when she feels unsourced anxiety creeping up on her, she will say it; quietly, to herself. It's better than hot chocolate and warm blankets, and when her hands shake after a battle, and Guy steps up asking “Talia, are you okay?”, it's much easier to stop the tremors and put on a smile.

However, it's a name reserved for a limited few. Anise called her “Talia” not long after hearing Luke say it when she first joined the party, and Natalia froze. She doesn't remember what happened next, but her reaction was enough to deter anyone besides Guy and Luke calling her that, even if she would welcome it now. Asch doesn't call her “Talia”, either. She wonders whether a lack of affection, or a lack of familiarity holds the sobriquet back, or if it's simply too childish for him to deign to use. She wishes that she could change his mind, whatever the reason.

Sometimes Guy or Luke will call her “Nat”, and she knows she's pushed too far, but not far enough to warrant her full name laced with disapproval. Asch hasn't called her “Nat”, either, which comes as a bit of a surprise to her- as angry as he always sounds. Then again, maybe he just always skips over the aggravation and goes right to full disapproval. He's too full of possibilities, and she can't read him like she reads Luke anymore. She doesn't even know whether that fact would make Asch upset or indifferent, or if he would lash out in anger or quietly stew in bitterness.

“Talia” means that she can relax her shoulders. She can laugh too loud at a crass joke. She can dole out bone-crushing hugs (or, in Guy's case, a grin and a quick squeeze of the arms crossed over her chest). It means that her face can crumple and redden in harsh, ugly crying, and then unfold again as she tries to catch her ragged breath and give a small “thank you”.


	2. King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natalia sees more than ashes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title taken from Lauren Aquilina's song of the same name.

Asch has so much potential that it hurts. It _burns_ , if that's not too cliched to say. It burns because he doesn't even realize it, the silly boy. Man? No, he's still only just a boy.

 

He's harder than most boys, angrier; more hurt and suffering more loss, but for all that he's still just a boy. He's so taken with being “Ashes of the Sacred Flame”, that he cannot see what is right in front of him. He lives, he thinks, he calculates, he feels, and all avenues should be open to him. Avenues of villany, avenues of heroicsm, avenues of love. Can he truly not see that he is more than just a tool to be used? Perhaps not. It is a difficult thing to know, to understand that you are a person, and not merely a commodity or a bargaining chip. Perhaps it is because of the Score, or maybe it's simply something that we, as nobility, are expected to take on without complaint, no matter the situation; we are the servants to our people, whomever they may be.

 

He is so loved. A child could see that. His mother, the Dark Wings, Luke- I am not so oblivious as to be blind to that- they all love him. I love him. His admirable qualities are so clear, even if they become faults in the extreme. Who could not love him, in some way- either familial, or as a friend, or in a romantic way? And when it is a combination of the three, how can he not see? Does he not remember? Does he think children's words trivial? An arrangement between “Luke” and “Natalia” now null and void because of the circumstance of a name? Of blood? Was there any real affection there, if it was only an agreement?

 

He is so busy being hurt, and justifiably so, that he has closed himself off from all avenues, save one. He is a closed book, to put the old expression on its head, his story clearly defined before the author even reaches the climax. I cannot read him. I cannot voice the other branches of this story that he might follow. My only hope is that Luke can somehow pull him from his infuriatingly high shelf and show him. And if he will reach, I will give him my shoulders to stand on.


	3. Carry On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written as a stream of consciousness type-thing with thinking about what anxieties Natalia probably has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song title is from Fun's song of the same name.

A good leader knows when they've lost. They know when to compromise and when to surrender. They know when to back out before all the resources have been drained, and how to gauge the loss that will come from retreating. I've stretched this out too far. A promise made ten years ago between children has no bearing on adult life, and he has to know that I am not the true princess.

 

What does he think of me- not a replica, but still an attempted replacement. A replacement that has cost lives.

 

And that's nothing to the contempt he probably holds for me, as easily duped by Van as everyone else. As culpable for his loss as anyone else. We were only friends, and I loved him. I want to still love him. I want to love Asch as much as I loved Luke then, and now. If he would let us get closer. But he won't.

 

Letting Asch have his identity means admitting that I don't know him, only who he used to be. How much can a man change?

 

If he doesn't want to come back to Baticul. I can understand. But I feel as if I'm being crushed. All the plans I had made must be scrapped. Kimlasca needs a ruling family- I cannot do this alone. Our system will not allow it, and I cannot yet change the system. Father and I are barely managing with just the two of us, and I've been terribly absent. I can't expect anything of him, though, or Luke. Not that they are incapable, but I cannot ask that of either of them.

 

I am alone, again. Put on a brave face, Natalia. Draw your sleeves down. Don't let them think that you are anything but strong and in control. There's turmoil enough without adding your silly problems to the mix.

 

Something is going to happen. Something terrible. Something we cannot stop. And I'm moping about puppy-love and promises made with flowers stolen from Aunt Suzanne's gardens under Pere's knowing eye. It was a birthday present. My most treasured gift, and now it's gone because I have to let it go. But I have to keep going. I have to keep going. How much more contemptible would I be if I turned from this path I have started on?

 

I am alone. I have to keep going. Even if Asch doesn't love me. Even if things never work with the rest of the group. Even if I can't imagine life without them. I am living without them now. I make it through the day. I have to keep going.

 

What would he think of me like this, pining away and working to push every other feeling away? Would he be happy that I don't just love Luke? Would he be angry that I love him at all? When he find out, because he will find out, what will he think of me? Disgusting, horrid, _easy_ thing; I wasn't born to be a princess, anyways. Would he expect better of me? He knows. He knows about Sylvia and Badaq. He knows the harbor. Does he feel deceived? They were going to kill me for being an imposter. He helped us escape. Why?

 

Asch, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for all of my shortcomings, I'm sorry for not being a princess, I'm sorry that I am even feeling this sorry instead of just letting you go. I just want you to come back. Please, I'm so alone.


	4. Absolute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They started it for fun, and kept it going for distraction. But Jade and Guy both know it's impossible not to feel something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick run-down on what's happening:  
> This is fairly close to the end of the game (when the story starts hinting really heavily at Luke/Tear). Luke is dying, Jade knows, Guy doesn't. Guy and Jade have had a friends-with-benefits thing going on for a while, but Guy is in love with Luke, and Jade knows that. What a train wreck.
> 
>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

Guy decided to wait until he got Jade alone. It was no easy thing these days, even if their arrangement was no longer a secret. There was too much tension, too much running around, too many nights when everyone collapsed exhausted in shared rooms, unwilling to separate even for a few hours’ rest. By the time Guy finally managed to get his own room, an evening to himself, and Jade all in one place at one time, he was spoiling for a fight.

The door nearly clipped Jade’s heel as Guy shut it behind them. He got right to the point, forestalling their usual pattern of flinging themselves on each other as soon as they were alone. “Okay. Why are you pushing Luke toward Tear?”

Jade stilled, excitement fading from his face. They hadn’t had time together in weeks, and Guy almost felt bad for springing this on him. Almost.

“Her feelings for him have become painfully obvious,” Jade said glibly, as though he’d been waiting for this question. “I think he’d want to know.”

“No you don’t,” Guy spat. “You thought it was funny all along, but now you’re actually trying. That’s not fair to him; you know how suggestible he is!”

Jade tilted his head. “Goodness. You’re all worked up.”

“Yeah, and you know why!”

“Maybe he likes Tear, who knows?”

Guy glared. Jade placidly met his eyes, stare for stare. One of Jade’s most attractive qualities—his poise—was also the most infuriating. “Don’t give me that. There’s something not right here. There’s been something bothering you for weeks—no, don’t look at me like that,” Guy said as Jade started to protest. “You don’t get to play emotional hide-and-seek with me right now. You’re acting weird. I just don’t get how it relates to Luke and Tear.” He blinked. “Unless you’re trying to keep distance between Luke and me? But why would..?”

Jade just looked at him wordlessly. Guy read the tiniest waver in his mask and felt a lurch.

“No… That’s impossible.”

“Let me guess,” Jade said, pulling up a teasing smile. He closed in on Guy slowly. “You think I’ve fallen in love with you and want to keep you to myself?”

Guy had to smile at that. “You always start flinging ridiculous stories when you’re covering something up.”

“Aren’t some of them half-true?” Jade murmured. His hands found Guy’s waist, tracing slowly up to his chest and shoulders.

Some of Guy’s anger drained away at the gentle pressure. In spite of himself, he leaned into the touch. “All of them, but...” Guy stopped, confused. “Wait, what did you just..? Ah, I get it.” He relaxed. “Distraction technique. Very shiny. You damn actor, Jade. Are you going to level with me, or what?”

As soon as he asked, he knew it was pointless; Jade had that glint in his eyes. It was like trying to argue with a natural disaster. Jade’s shoulders rose and fell to the precise degree necessary to convey puzzlement. “You know, I’ve had such a hard life with so many secrets—goodness, it could be anything!”

“Bold-faced evasion. Okay.” Guy sighed, pulling back to study Jade at arms’ length. “I’m seeing all the arsenal, but I still have no clue what you’re hiding. How can I spend so much time with you, and _still_ not understand how your mind works?”

Gloved hands tightened ever-so-slightly, urging the distance to close again. “Keeps things interesting, don’t you think?”

Guy smirked. “Yeah, it must be interesting for you to share a bed with someone who doesn’t know how to play you like a fish, for a change.”

Mentioning Emperor Peony was a surefire way to make Jade choke. He nudged his glasses up his nose, the only self-conscious gesture he had. “How long will you keep playing that card?”

“For as long as it works. It’s the only way I know to make you flinch.”

“The only way?” Jade slid a finger under the collar Guy always wore, tugging gently, and won a hitched breath. “You can’t think of anything else to do to punish me?”

Yep, there it went. That was it. He’d never get the conversation back now. With a frustrated groan, Guy allowed himself to be drawn into a kiss that left Jade’s intentions undeniable. This was what their strange relationship was for, after all—nothing heavy, nothing that couldn’t be solved in half an hour.

Jade’s mouth moved to Guy’s ear, offering teasing bites and kisses of a sort he knew Guy loved. His hands remained gentle, artfully inviting guidance. Guy gave an experimental squeeze to the back of Jade’s neck, smiling absently when Jade faltered, relaxed, and made a soft sound in his throat. Ah, so it was that kind of night. “You are… really determined to distract me, aren’t you?”

Red eyes glittered. “I’m making it nice and easy for you this time.”

 

* * *

 

Later, lying side by side, bodies cooling, the questions trickled back. Guy lay half in Jade’s arms, tingling and unsettled. The marks he’d left on that pale skin seemed undeservedly harsh, now. And there was Jade, curled on his side when he always slept on his back, glasses surely pressing uncomfortably. Jade, normally so languid after sex, holding him with a fine tension in his arms.

They were talking about something, perhaps just to be talking.

“…you know, as long as we live through it,” Guy was saying. He stopped. In the space of two heartbeats, the world sharpened and went cold. “Luke’s not going to make it, is he?”

Jade said nothing, only gathered Guy closer and pressed an unpracticed kiss to his forehead. The uncharacteristic gesture confirmed everything, absolutely everything. Guy closed his eyes and tried to breathe.

So that was it. The future was shattered, and both of them knew it.

This was going to _kill_ the others… assuming they didn’t know, already. Was Guy the last to kn—

No, don’t think about that right now.

Was Luke in pain? How could he—

No, not that, either. Not now. No.

The silence ticked by. Walling off a distant scream building somewhere deep inside, Guy tried to think only of the person lying right next to him. He listened to Jade’s carefully regulated breathing; he might have been asleep, if it weren’t for the perfect arrangement of his arms and the steady pressure of his chin on the top of Guy’s head. How long had he been keeping Luke’s secret, and how angry had he imagined Guy would be when it finally came out? It seemed so long ago that they’d begun this affair with the understanding that, no matter what either of them may come to feel for the other, it wouldn’t last. Jade had been so insistent tonight, so eager to derail, to touch and please and not let go. Had he thought this would be the last time?

“I’m not mad at you,” Guy managed finally. He swallowed. “For not telling me. He’s your friend, too, and… he must’ve wanted it that way.”

Jade relaxed fractionally. Guy slipped an arm around him, realizing he had no idea how to comfort Jade because he’d never tried. Never thought he’d need to. Maybe he still didn’t, and was misreading everything—there was no solid ground in this partnership, only a steep learning curve to distinguish real from fake.

“And anyway, nothing’s changing yet, right?” he continued, trying to sound reassuring when all he felt was numb. “This doesn’t have to end.”

He couldn’t avoid hearing his own subtext: _We can save him, right?_

“Everything ends.” _No_.

Guy pressed his face to Jade’s chest and tried to stop thinking entirely.

He fell asleep slowly to soft fingers stroking his hair.


	5. With a Little Help from my Friends

The interior of the Albiore was freezing that morning, as usual. Early hours, combined with the late winter season and rationed energy consumption, made the aircraft nearly unbearable sometimes; especially when its occupants had to draw themselves out of pleasant unconsciousness to face the frustrating journey that lay ahead of them. That morning, however, was different.

 

Carefully laid next to each person’s bunk was a pristine white envelope, sealed with gold wax. On the back, a neat but unfamiliar script addressed each envelope by the recipient’s first name only. Within each lay elegant cards, with sweet, romantic puns written in the same script and signed ‘From a Mysterious Stranger’.

 

"It has to be someone on the ship!" Anise said, waving her about as the group examined one another’s cards, "I mean, how else could they have gotten in?"

 

"But everyone has one," Luke said, wrinkling his nose at the inside of his card.

 

_'Kimlasca is red_

_And Malkuth is blue_

_This affection knows no borders_

_What’s a poor fonist to do?’_

 

"And the handwriting is unfamiliar," Tear pointed out, her cheeks pink.

 

"Well, whoever it is sure thinks of some corny puns," Anise sighed. Her own card had an- admittedly very cute- illustration of a rappig on the front. On the inside, it read: _'Sweetheart, you make me squeal!'_  

 

"I think they’re sweet," Natalia said, "Luke- we used to do this, remember? For the week of Valentine’s Day."

 

"Yeah…" Luke said reluctantly, stuffing his card into his pocket, "It was supposed to help my practice writing."

The princess’ smile twitched and turned brittle, but she tucked her own valentine safely away. When she looked up, she caught Guy giving one of those gentle, knowing glances that he was infuriatingly good at.

 

"My, my, what a conundrum," Jade sighed, "Well, I suppose that this will give you young people something to do, other than sulk all day."

 

"You aren’t curious, Colonel?" Anise asked.

 

"Oh, yes. I’m utterly consumed by my curiosity."

 

"You don’t sound very convincing, Colonel," Noelle said, pulling on a jacket and preparing to inspect the Albiore for takeoff. Her own valentine peeked out from inside her sleeve, “Should we be suspicious?”

 

"He probably has it figured out already," Natalia said, bright eyes narrowing in the Necromancer’s direction, "You know that when we solve this little mystery, he’ll inform us that he’s known since yesterday."

 

The next morning brought another round of Valentine’s and more speculation and suspicion. However, the cards were too good-natured and sweet to cause any real strife- the biting cold of the Albiore didn’t seem so bad when there was something pleasant to look forwards to.

 

On the morning of Valentine’s Day, the cards all contained carefully-chosen verses of classically romantic poetry, and the decorations on them were increased ten-fold. However, they were still signed in the anonymous way they had all come to expect.

 

"Boo~ How boring!" Anise sighed, "C’mon, guys! Fess up!"

 

"I suppose our secret admirer will just have to stay a secret," Jade shrugged, "Perhaps they’re an outlaw, and don’t want their identity revealed. Ah, well- back to work."

 

Well, at least he’d alleviated the gloom that seemed to hang over them at all hours, if only for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written in response to an event going on with tejoxys and our other friends, airagorncharda and daetur on tumblr. A whole week of anonymous valentines- all fandom based and tailored to us, 20 in all. Of course, it was an inside job by daetur and airagorncharda, and one of the best Valentine's Day presents ever!
> 
> Happy Valentine's day, readers!


End file.
